


Equilibrium

by Denise



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2012-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-09 23:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denise/pseuds/Denise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tag to Revelations</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equilibrium

* * *

Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

* * *

  
Sam leaned back in the command chair and closed her eyes. Both Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c had left with Freyr to take Thor to the Asgard physicians. She really hoped they could help the little guy. She had a certain soft spot for the diminutive alien. At least he wasn't still in Anubis' hands, that was a good thing.

Shifting her position a bit she pulled her legs up and rested her aching head on her knees. Even with the engines off and the Tel'tac nestled in the cavernous cargo bay of the huge Asgard ship, there was still an omnipresent thrum of the engines. A low rhythmic sound that echoed the thudding in her head. Daniel might be getting used to ribbon devices but she sure wasn't. Oh God. Daniel. She felt the tell tale prick behind her eyelids and took a deep breath to try to quell the tears before they made their presence known. Not yet. She couldn't cry yet. There'd be time for that when she got home.

She should go check on Thor. She should be un-jury rigging the power supply that had maintained the ancient Asgard's stasis chamber. She should stock up on some yellow ones to shove down the colonel's throat the next time he acted like an ass.

She should be taking something for this headache. She should be dealing with Daniel better. He wasn't dead, not really. Just…gone. He could come back. Orlin descended after all and he'd been gone for hundreds of years.

Surely Daniel could come back. Assuming he even wanted to. She hadn't thought of that possibility. Maybe he liked it out there. With Shau'ri dead and Nick off with Quetzacoatl, what ties did he have anyway? Nothing but them. And apparently they weren't enough. Maybe that's what he'd been trying to tell them over the past couple of years. That his quest was done and it was time for him to move on.

What did he have to hang around for anyway? A short lifetime trapped in a horribly scarred and damaged body? The constant battle with scarring and years of therapy. Even his mobility curtailed as damaged muscles competed with unpliable scar tissue.

She'd known a burn victim once. A friend of hers who'd been trapped in his damaged jet, unable to free himself as the jet fuel had burned him alive. He'd survived, somehow. She still couldn't forget the characiture of a man he'd been. His bald head adorned only by surgically re-created ears, the gnarled vestiges of his hands. Somehow he'd survived the fire, staved off the infections only to face the prospect of spending years encased in a body suit to minimize scarring, and forbidden to venture out into the sun. He'd survived only to spend the rest of his life a prisoner of his wrecked body.

She couldn't wish that on Daniel. She wasn't that selfish. He was better where he was. Logically she knew that. Now if only her heart would listen to her head.

"Carter? You ok?" 

Were they back already? She raised her head, trying not to wince as she opened her eyes. Since when did the Asgard keep their cargo bays so bright? "Colonel. I'm sorry. I didn't hear you come in." She slid her feet to the floor and moved to get up. Surely she was supposed to be doing something.

"That's ok," he put his hand on her shoulder to keep her sitting and slid into the pilot's seat. "You all right?" he repeated.

"I'm fine," she said. "Just a bit of a headache, " she explained at his raised eyebrow. "How's Thor?"

"They're operating or whatever they call it, right now. Seems Anubis stuck some probe thing in his brain."

"Can they get it out?"

"They think so. The real question is how much damage it's done while it's been in there. What happened on the planet?" He asked abruptly, changing the subject.

"Sir?"

"We saw you get zatted. What happened next?"

"Osiris found the complex," she said simply.

"Ribbon device?" he guessed.

"Yeah."

"Ouch."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"You want me to talk to Freyr? See if we can hitch a ride home?"

"No, sir. I'll be fine."

"Ok. Teal'c should be back in a few minutes. Then we'll head out. Why don't you take some drugs and catch a few z's," he suggested.

"That's not necessary," she protested. "I've got stuff to do."

"Carter, don't take this wrong but you look like crap. Look," he continued at her scowl. "We have an eight hour flight ahead of us. Why don't you go sleep it off? And before you protest, can I remind you that if you still have a headache when we get back, Fraiser will want to run tests."

"Yes, sir," she muttered with a sigh, pushing herself to her feet. 

"Besides, it's my turn for the chair," he quipped.

  
<><><><><>

  
Jack watched his second make her way to the back of the small ship and sighed. All their missions had better not be like this one. They'd succeeded, yes. But the whole thing had been awkward from the moment Freyr had set foot on the ramp.

It reminded him of when he'd broke his leg for the first time. The loss of mobility combined with the weight of the cast had made him unsteady on his feet for a while. He'd stumbled for a week or two, forcing his body to find a new way to do things, discovering his new limitations. It had been difficult…until he'd found his equilibrium again.

Maybe that's what they were doing? Each of them suddenly finding a piece of their life missing and each struggling to find a new center of balance. Eventually they would, he knew. But until they did, things were going to be awkward. They were going to fumble and step on each other's toes as they sought to redefine their places on the team.

All they had to do was avoid killing each other in the process.

There was s flash of white light and Teal'c and Freyr beamed onto the Tel'tac.

"Greetings O'Neill."

"Freyr. How's Thor?"

"Commander Thor has survived the procedure." The small creature walked over and stood before Jack as Teal'c sat in the pilot's chair.

"I'm sensing a but here."

"Thor did not regain consciousness as expected, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"What does that mean?" Jack asked the Asgard.

"It is possible that Anubis' device has damaged Commander Thor's brain," the alien said sadly.

"Ok. Can't you just…do that transfer thing?"

"Transfer?" The Asgard asked, his wide black eyes blinking curiously.

"O'Neill speaks of transferring Thor's consciousness into a newer incarnation," Teal'c explained.

"What do you know of this?"

"Heimdall told us about the cloning. Can you just put Thor's mind into an undamaged body?"

"That would be possible, however it is Thor's mind that is damaged, not his body."

"So?"

"There may be nothing to transplant O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"Ok. When will you know?" Jack asked.

"If Commander Thor awakens," Freyr said. He looked around. "Where is Major Carter?"

"She's resting. Headache," He explained to Teal'c.

"Please tell her that Heimdall looks forward to working with her again. And I would like to convey to you and the rest of Earth our gratitude for your aid. Your actions may have saved the entire Asgard race. We owe you a debt that we shall not forget."

"You're welcome," Jack said simply.

"I understand from Teal'c that Daniel Jackson is no longer with you," the alien continued.

"Umm. Yeah," Jack said, not wanting to go into a detailed explanation.

"He was a most eloquent man. He will be missed," Freyr said softly.

"Yeah, he sure will be," Jack replied. It took just a few minutes for Freyr to leave and Teal'c to navigate his way out of the Asgard ship and into open space. The tiny ship slipped into hyperspace with a slight lurch.

Jack sat in the chair, watching the dizzying light show through the front windows. The whirling bluish lights were hypnotic in a way and he felt himself relax almost to the point of nodding off.

"If Major Carter is unwell, should we not have availed ourselves of the Asgard's faster ships, O'Neill?"

"What? No. She's just got a headache. I told her to try and sleep it off."

Teal'c accepted his commanding officer's diagnosis and started silently out the window for a few minutes. "She feels Daniel Jackson's loss most keenly," he said, breaking the silence.

"I know."

"And you share her feelings."

"Look, he had a choice. He made it and he's gone. Nothing will change that. So it's a waste of time to keep mooning over it," Jack retorted.

"Daniel Jackson's body was irreparably damaged by the radiation. Once he entered the chamber, his fate was sealed. It was not a matter of if he would die, but when."

"No, I…" Jack trailed off. "He had a choice. He chose to leave," Jack said bitterly.

"I do not understand."

"He…" Jack broke off and looked over his shoulder as if to ascertain that they were alone. "I…It was his choice," Jack insisted. "Jacob was healing him and Daniel didn't want it. He told me to make Jacob stop."

"I witnessed no such conversation."

"No. I…"

"Daniel Jackson spoke to you in a vision," the Jaffa intuited.

"I guess," Jack admitted grudgingly. "One minute I was standing there watching Jacob, the next thing I knew Daniel's standing right beside me. The real Daniel, not that…not the one in the bed. He's telling me to make Jacob stop, to let him go. He CHOSE to leave Teal'c. He could have stayed, let Jake fix him, waited to see; maybe the Asgard could have fixed him? But he didn't want to," Jack said.

"Have you told Major Carter this?"

"What?"

"That you were enacting Daniel Jackson's wishes when you ordered Jacob Carter to cease. Perhaps it would aid her to know what events truly transpired."

"She knows what happened. She was there. You were there."

"True. However my perception of events do not match yours. Regardless of his reasons for leaving, I believe she will find solace in knowing that it was his choice."

Jack sighed. "Maybe so Teal'c, Maybe so."

  
<><><><><>

  
"Thanks," Jack said as the waitress set down their drinks and left to place their orders "So?" he said to break the awkward silence.

"So?" Sam said, raising her eyebrows. The three of them were seated in a corner booth of a quiet tavern. The first time they'd come here, Sam had been more than a little skeptical. The Dew Drop Inn was one of those places she'd normally drive right on by. But the colonel had insisted that she give it a chance, that appearances were often deceiving. And he'd been right. Although the outside may be shabby and the inside more than scruffy, the food was good and the service friendly.

"Hammond got Quinn asylum. He's going to stay at the SGC for a while. Room right down from the hall from Teal'c actually."

"Really?" Sam said, swirling her straw in her diet coke, the ice clinking against the thick glass. Jack recognized the stubborn set of her jaw, the cold edge to her voice. It was a look she usually reserved for Colonel Simmons or that Doctor McKay.

"It's not his fault you know?" He said.

"Sir?"

"What happened to Daniel," he went on, broaching the subject they'd been avoiding for days.

"Look, Colonel…"

"It was his choice, Carter."

She snorted. "Some choice. Defuse the device or let a whole continent get incinerated."

"Not that. I…be honest. What would you have done?" He demanded.

Sam bristled and opened her mouth to protest, then slumped defeatedly. "The same," she admitted.

"As would I," Teal'c spoke up.

"Me too. There's something you need to know. Something I don't even really understand myself." Jack took a drink of his beer. "At the…end, I aah…I talked to Daniel," he admitted in a rush.

Sam frowned. "He was unconscious."

"No. I mean yes. He…"

"O'Neill did not speak to Daniel Jackson in this reality, rather in a vision," Teal'c interrupted.

"Colonel?"

"I can't explain it, not in any way that doesn't make me sound totally wacko but…Jake was doing his bit and the next thing I knew I was standing in the gateroom and Daniel was telling me to tell Jacob to stop. Oma was there and she was going to take him off wherever they hang out. Carter…Sam, he wanted to go. He thinks he can do more this way," Jack said sincerely, looking her in the eyes.

"What…What do you think?"

"I…he believed it. And I trust that he's doing what he thinks is best."

Sam nodded and played with her drink some more, absently using the straw to sink random ice cubes. When she remained silent, Jack shot a glance at Teal'c who merely quirked an eyebrow.

"Carter?"

His question remained unanswered as the waitress came to their table bearing a large tray containing their dinners. The next few minutes were filled with the passing of condiments and low moans of appreciation, as each of them tasted their meals.

"You know, sir. I was thinking," Sam spoke up after a few minutes, dipping her French fry into a bowl of gravy.

"Like that's never happened," he quipped.

Sam rolled her eyes and continued. "It'd be a shame if we just packed up all Daniel's books and stuff and shoved them in a closet. Some of them are personal I know," she said to his puzzled look. "But the ones that aren't…Daniel spent years building up that library. It would be a shame to just pack it away."

"I do not understand, Major Carter."

"It's just…when I think of Daniel…"

"You remember him with his nose in a book," Jack said.

"Yeah." Sam smiled.

"Daniel Jackson did draw great pleasure from studying his books," Teal'c remembered.

"He did," Sam agreed.

"And if someone else could also derive pleasure or enlightenment from them, then Daniel Jackson's spirit would live on."

"What do you think sir? Would Daniel mind if we let other people use his books?"

"I think he'd mind if we packed them up and let them rot," Jack said. He liked the idea. If the answer to some puzzle could be found in Daniel's beloved books, it was sort of like he was still with them, fighting at their side.

"Maybe we can do the same thing with his apartment. Loan his stuff out until he comes back for it."

They agreed and the rest of the meal was spent discussing who should take what. Still professing to be hungry, Teal'c ordered desert and the three of them applied themselves to finding room for a piece of fudge cake.

"We still have one thing to work out," Jack said, setting down his fork.

"Sir?"

"A chair Carter. A nice big colonel's chair on my ship," Jack said, holding his arms wide.

"Colonel's chair?" Sam asked glancing at Teal'c whose lip was twitching in amusement.

"Hell yes. Nothing as big as Cronos' but…if Kirk can have a chair, why can't I?"

"Captain Kirk's chair was constructed of gray painted plywood," Teal'c said.

"Besides," Sam spoke up. "Kirk's chair wouldn't work."

"Why not?"

"First of all, because it's in the Smithsonian, and second of all it'll look out of place."

"Out of place?"

"Well, where will the new guy sit?" Sam asked.

"Indeed."

"The new guy?"

Sam shrugged. "It's better than hey you."

Jack looked at his teammates and for the first time in days, he saw something other than grief or rage. They were still hurting; heck he was still hurting. And things were never going to be the same again. Even if Daniel came back…he wouldn't be their Daniel. Their Daniel, the one they'd lived with, died with, argued with over the past five years was gone. They couldn't change that. What they could do was move on. He knew Daniel well enough to know he wouldn't want them to be moping over him forever. He'd want them to move on, to live their lives. And maybe kick a little goa'uld butt in his name.

"Ok, two chairs," he agreed, carving off a bite of the cake. "And seatbelts. We need seatbelts."

~Fin~ 


End file.
